How I Bought A Watch

Out on errands this afternoon we stopped at a store we knew from a previous trip to Florida, usually good for bargains. I was interested in a watch of a specific design. I not only like to keep abreast of the time, I like to do it in a color-coordinated way.

I found a table display of men's watches. Many designs qualified as candidates. The percentage of discount beckoned. Some watches ticked, keeping fictitious time, others were in a state of catatonic paralysis. Among the latter I found a specimen I would buy. I had merely one question. And it was a core question: Why is it not ticking?

I liked the blue face, the round dial,

and the metal mesh band.

No, the above photo is not the actual watch, but is a reasonable, not to mention handsomely photographed, facsimile. I asked a sales clerk for assistance. "Can you arrange for me to buy this watch ticking away like the others?"

She said she didn't know but would check with the store manager. She returned to report that pulling out the side button would start it working. I said, "Good. Would you mind doing that?" 

"Oh no," she replied. "You can do that only after you buy it."

"If I do that," I said, "and it does not work, then I will have to go through the process of returning a defective product before I even leave the store, won't I?"

"Yes," she said. "Those are the rules."

"But half of these watches are in fact ticking," I said. "How about if we just get this one to tick like his brothers?"

"The manager won't allow that, sir."

I replied, "I wish to have the pleasure of speaking to your manager, please."

Following a substantial wait the clerk returned with the manager in brisk march and in full business dispatch mode. "How can I help you?" she asked.

"I would like to buy this watch if you can get it ticking like its peers. Would you please help me with this?"

She took the watch, pulled and pushed the side button once and handed it to me, ticking. I said, "Thank you. I appreciate this," and proceeded to the check-out counter.

It's a fine store, but when it comes to delegating authority one can only wonder what makes them tick.